There’s nothing like a nice Shabbat dinner to bring the family together in one place. And if you’re the Kardashian family, at least if everyone is at Shabbat dinner, then all electronics are off.
That’s right, nobody is making a sex tape with Brandy’s little brother or divorcing someone via e-mail/text/whatever or starring in a horrible reality television show.
BUT WAIT! What if you were to have Shabbat dinner during a horrible reality show? What if you were to use your powers of evil and way-too-much-make-up to make a mockery of the Jewish faith in some strange ploy for ratings?
DUN DUN DUN. Then you would be horrible people.
Let’s start at the beginning. Kourtney’s baby daddy Scott has finally decided to get in touch with his Jewish roots. How do we know this is for real? Because he has yarmulkes in a drawer! DUH!
Not only that but when Kourtney asks him if being Jewish is like that time he was into using a cane for a while (sidenote: are you serious, Scott? Are you a Great Gatsby Guido?!?!), Scott gets all hurt inside. TEARS!
"For Kourtney to tell me the whole Jewish thing is just another phase in my life is pretty disrespectful," he says in his private interview. "It isn’t like a certain type of suit or a certain type of car I'm into."
Are you sure, Scott? Are you? Because while Kourtney is kinda annoying here, she seems to be asking honest questions. Honest, simple questions that Scott has no answer for.
For instance: What is Shabbat dinner?
“You eat a couple different things, and you have a beautiful time.”
Okay, then why do you need to wear a yarmulke?
“Stop busting my chops. I’m not saying I’m a pro-Jew.”
Uh, okay, Scott. You aren’t pro-Jew. You’re just celebrating Jewish customs and talking about getting back into with your faith. If only this is how Iran expressed its not pro-Jew sentiments!
Oh, and Scott, why do you need a tablecloth?
“Every question you ask me, I’m not going to have the answers.” Switches voice to a most flattering imitation of his wife. “What is this for? You don’t know so you’re not really Jewish!”
Yes, Scott. If you don’t know why you are doing the things you are doing for Shabbat dinner, if you don’t know why you wear a yarmulke, if you don’t understand ANYTHING ABOUT JUDAISM, well…YOU MIGHT NOT BE JEWISH!!!
And Kourtney has a strange fascination with yarmulkes, like they are these strange objects from outer space or something. You would think her and her sisters would be used to large, round-at-the-top, black things being in and around their faces by now. ZING! YA JUST GOT BURNT!
Two other random highlights: Scott hilariously calling his infant son an anti-semite for removing his yarmulke, and this absolutely true observation about Jewish cuisine from the only other Jew Scott knows, publicist Jonathan Cheban:
“I would rather choke on my own vomit than eat gefilte fish.”
Oh, and in between the Jewish episodes, Kim is really, really annoying. The End. Good riddance.
J-Connection: Scott Disick is Jewish. Come on, how could you have any doubts after watching this? Jonathan Cheban is also Jewish. He is writing a tell-all book. I wonder if it will reveal that this show is totally fake? GASP!!!