We hope everyone’s sitting down for this breaking news.
It turns out that Jackie and Kelso are as close to a romantic relationship as Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are going to get.
Mila told Britain’s Elle magazine, “I am totally single…Listen, we hang out. We've known each other for 15 years. We have mutual friends. We're comfortable with one another. That's it! There's no crazy love story, nothing more."
We’re kind of disappointed. They’d be a cute couple, and both celebs have been slacking in the love department.
Kunis hasn’t been involved with anyone since she split from Macaulay Culkin in 2010, insisting that her fame is the culprit for her single status.
She admitted to Glamour that she would try Internet dating if she wasn’t in the spotlight, and she brought up another point to Elle, saying, “Is a guy going to come up to me and ask if he can take me out on a date? Where can I go and have this date? I can't go anywhere! My house, his house... So what do you do? I'm trying to be like a normal girl and a single girl... but the concept of being single and in my position is just not workable. I couldn't even go on a date if I wanted to!”
Cue the miniature violins.
J-Connection: Mila Kunis is a Ukrainian-born Jew.